Hey, Micro! Can we do some culturing?

What, what, what, what...[x7]


Choc-late, C-N-A, Mac-Con-key, pla-ates...[x9]


[Hook:]
I'm gonna pop some lids
Only got diphtheroids in my gram stain

I-I-I'm hunting, looking for some cocci
This is M-R-S-A


[Verse 1:]
Yah, Walk up to set-up like, "What up, I got a knee swab
I'm so pumped bout this crap from the ER

A little on the rim, it's so damn sloshy
That people like, "Damn! That smells so raunchy!"
Swabin' in, hella deep,workin' in the biohood

MacConkey's pink, but not my Hektoens, those are green
Streaked for isolation, plates stackin' next to me
Cover that in some urine, bacteria in that pee

(Piiisssssss)
But man, it had like 3+ epi's! (Bag it)
Coughin' it, hawkin' it, plate that sputum on some chocolates

Requiring X and V, those got be Haemophilus
But now I got a fuzzy thing
So I'm stainin' it, tapin' it

It's Aspergillus and I'm hella happy that's a easy one
I'ma find your anaerobes, Im'a find your anaerobes
No for real-where the hell are those anaerobes?

Brucella's got a Prevotella
And there's Peptostrepto on ABAP, found ya!
They had a Pseudomonas, I found a Pseudomonas

I smells that Pseudomonas, smelled like a candy grape Pez
Hello, hello, that thing's pretty greenish
But some of you other might smell tortilla chips, 'tish!

I could take Proteus, make them swarm, check those
My supervisor would be like, "Aw, she got a good nose."


[Hook x2]

[Verse 2:]

Do you know much about oxacillin resistance?
Then you know we've used Cefoxitin ever since
I'm digging, I'm digging, I'm searchin' though that nasal passage

One man's flora, that's another man's pathogen
Thank your micro tech, doing all that slide coagulase
'Cause here we get none of those sun rays

I'm at the wound bench, restreaking your turbid cooked meats
Clear screen, force field, so no splashes land on my feets
Then the Blood cultures, turn yellow, BacT yells, Positive

I plate it and stain it, read it and I'm calling that, it's critical,
Hey there nurse, I got your patients results
That mucoid gram negative rod my prediction defaults

Students like, "Oh, that's just a Kleb Pneumo"
I'm like, "Yo- that's a freakin' carbapenamase"
Modified hodge testing, clovers where E. coli's resting

Contact precautions on that room-that's how to stop it spreading
I call that being proactive and preventing
I call that fighting against drug resistance

That's just what we do
When we are working the bench, reading the plates, and find something that is infecting you
Sit down, come take a look through my microscope

Try to I.D. rods from a gram stain, well you hella won't
Well, you hella won't


(Micro...poppin' plates...yeah!)

[Hook]


[Bridge x2]
I streak your G.P.C's

With beta ha-alos
I got Staph Aureus
Fox resistant and they're gold


[Hook]