December
5 days before
the day where families share their joy

But not for us
Not that year
Not that decade or the years after


So look back
and tell me why

does this have to be on me
'Cause all I can do
is howl at the moon

Hoping some answer falls from the stars
But it never works
I'm out of tries

My hope froze over, burned and $#&@ing died
Along with my mind
Should just be blind

'Cause all I can see just reminds me

I woke up

and looked around
To find my world flipped upside down
The cold set in

Not a sound
I panicked and cried and just let it out
But in front of me

in the car seat
I find my mother cold as the ice
I shake her arm

ask her to wake
but to no avail, this was our fate


this was our fate
!@#$ this fate


My brother
his first year
in this world just had to be this

I grabbed him
went outside
The silence of wreckage was the only thing in sight


So look back
and tell me why

is this memory alone with me
'Cause all I can do
is howl at the moon

Hoping some answer falls from the stars
But it never works
I'm out of tries

My hope froze over, burned and $#&@ing died
Along with my mind
Should just be blind

'Cause all I can see just reminds me

Is this starting to drone?

Well you're not alone
Try for the next 20 years of your life
'Cause it's all that I hear

This broken record
I wish it would skip or just finally break
I often think

or maybe just believe
My keen ear was born from this all
That I wanted to hear

Wanted to listen
for any help I could get