Whiskey Man's my friend, he's with me nearly all the time
He always joins me when I drink, and we get on just fine


Nobody has ever seen him, I'm the only one
Seemingly I must be mad, Insanity is fun
If that's the way it's done


Doctors say he just a figment of my twisted mind
If they can't see my Whiskey Man they must be going blind


Two men dressed in white collected me two days ago
They said there's only room for one and Whiskey Man can't go


Whiskey Man will waste away if he's left on his own
I can't even ring him 'cause he isn't on the phone

Hasn't got a home

Life is very gloomy in my little padded cell

It's a shame there wasn't room for Whiskey Man as well

Whiskey Man's my friend, he's with me nearly all the time

He always joins me when I drink, and we get on just fine
Just fine