When the Devil is too busy
And Death's a bit too much
They call on me by name you see,

For my special touch.
To the Gentlemen I'm Miss Fortune
To the Ladies I'm Sir Prize

But call me by any name
Any way it's all the same


I'm the fly in your soup
I'm the pebble in your shoe
I'm the pea beneath your bed

I'm a bump on every head
I'm the peel on which you slip
I'm a pin in every hip

I'm the thorn in your side
Makes you wriggle and writhe
And it's so easy when you're evil

This is the life, you see
The Devil tips his hat to me
I do it all because I'm evil

And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need


While there's children to make sad
While there's candy to be had
while there's pockets left to pick

While there's grannies to trip
down the stairs, I'll be there,
I'll be waiting round the corner

It's a game. I'm glad I'm in it
'Cause there's one born every minute


I pledge my allegiance, to all things dark
And I promise on my damned soul
To do as I am told, Lord Beelzebub

Has never seen a soldier quite like me
Not only does his job, but does it happily.


I'm the fear that keeps you awake
I'm the shadows on the wall
I'm the monsters they become

I'm the nightmare in your skull
I'm a dagger in your back
An extra turn on the rack

I'm the quivering of your heart
A stabbing pain, a sudden start.


And it's so easy when you're evil
This is the life, you see
The Devil tips his hat to me

I do it all because I'm evil
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need

And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need
And I do it all for free

Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need

It gets so lonley being evil

What I'd do to see a smile
Even for a little while
And no one loves you when you're evil

I'm lying though my teeth!
Your tears are all the company I need