The other day i took a walk because the air was sweet, 
and I past the crusty house of a curmedgeon on my street,
now every town got one so im sure you will understand, 
when i tell you this old !@$( is a mean and bitter man.
Now this day it was special and i was wearing my new hat 
the old curmedgeon saw it and disapprove of that,
He say "i have one just like it for ten years you ripped me off 
you got no right to wear a hat like mine so take it off"
Now as it happens that im a gentleman so I approached his porch, 
I told him "great mind think alike, and you have one of course,
so how bout I just tipped my hat to you when i come through?"
He reached down for his gun and he said,
"I WILL SHOOT YOU IF YOU DO!"

And i said, no one's gonna cry at your funeral,
No one's gonna drink at your wake,
No one's gonna sigh with a tear in their eyes,
cause no one's gonna miss you when your DEAD.

Well the next day I forgot this whole damn mess and went to town, 
and there i saw hundred or so posters all around 
and them was my face when i was wearing my new hat,
and there read "This guy ripped me off, i got one just like that."
i took a walk down to his house to see if i could find, 
a way to show him we were kindred spirits of the mind,
i said, "I didnt make these hats nor did you of course, 
and hey we both love Johnny Cash" 
He said "GET OFF MY PORCH."

And i said, no one's gonna cry at your funeral,
No one's gonna drink at your wake,
No one's gonna sigh with a tear in their eye,
cause no one's gonna miss you when your DEAD.

When you look back on your life what will you see? 
Did you spend your time mending fences or planting mines?
Theres no shortage of potential enemies, 
so dont waste so much time pushing away your kind.

I thought I must be stupid or just crazy from the heat, 
when I went down to the house of that curmedgeon on my street
Maybe it was foolish to go to his house again, 
just to show this crazy drunken fool he had a friend.
When i got there much to my surprise he wasn't there, 
he was gone as was his shotgun and his rocking chair,
i asked the neighbour lady who was laying on her lawn,
"What happend to that mean old man?"
She just shrugged that was all.

And i said, no one's gonna cry at your funeral,
No one's gonna drink at your wake,
No one's gonna sigh with a tear in their eye,
cause no one's gonna miss you..
hell no one's gonna notice
and I'll enjoy the silence...
when you're dead!!