We are the pirates who don't do anything
We just stay at home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything

We'll just tell you we don't do anything

Well I've never been to Greenland

And I've never been to Denver
And I've never buried treasure in St. Louie or St. Paul
And I've never been to Moscow

And I've never been to Tampa
And I've never been to Boston in the fall


We're the pirates who don't do anything
We just stay at home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything

We'll just tell you we don't do anything

And I've never hoist the main sail

And I've never swabbed the poop deck
And I've never veer to starboard
'Cause I never sail at all


And I've never walked the gangplank
And I've never owned a parrot

And I've never been to Boston in the fall

'Cause we're the pirates who don't do anything

We just stay at home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything
We'll just tell you we don't do anything


Well I've never plucked a rooster
And I'm not too good at ping ball

And I've never thrown my mashed potatoes
Up against the wall


And I've never kissed a chipmunk
And I've never gotten head lice
And I've never been to Boston in the fall.


(spoken)
Huh? What are you talking about?

Whats a rooster and mashed potatoes have to do with being a pirate?
Hey, thats right!
We are supposed to sing about pirate-y things.

And who's ever kissed a chipmunk?
That's just nonsense! Why even bring it up?
Am I right? What do you think?

I think you look like Captain Crunch.
Huh? No I don't!
Do too.

Do not!
You're making me hungry.
Thats it! You're walkin' the plank.

Says who?
Says the Cap'n, thats who!
Oh yeah? Ay Ay, Cap'n Crunch! hehehehe

Arrrgggghh
Yikes!


And I've never licked a spark plug
And I've never sniffed a stinkbug
And I've never painted daises

On a big red rubber ball

And I've never bathed in yogurt

And I don't look good in leggings
(You just don't get it.)
And we've never been to Boston in the fall!


(spoken)
Pass the chips!

Who's got the remote control? Here it is!
Time for Heraldo.
It's definately time for Loch Nech.

Ohh.. I don't like this show.
Hey look! I found a quarter!