I'm a big celebrity
And I don't know what you've been told
But I think you should be more like me

So I'm gonna tell you what I know
See, you're just an average woman or man
And you shouldn't try to think for yourself

There's things that you can't understand
And I'll bet you could use my help
I'm on TV and radio

And unless I'm mistaken, you're not
So I've found almost every place I go
There's people just waiting to hear my thoughts

They say I'm a genius, they're right
So take my opinions seriously
I'll tell you how to live your life

Cause I'm a big celebrity

[Chorus:]

I'm a big celebrity
And I don't know what you've been told
But I think you should be more like me

So I'm gonna tell you what I know
I'm a big celebrity
And you've got such a long way to go

If you're gonna be more like me
So I'll tell you what you don't know


Hey big celebrity, please keep your politics
Your beliefs and your philosophies, all of it
Some advice if you wanna stay famous

Don't try to change us, just entertain us
You're a tabloid headline, a photo op
And now you want the same attention John and Yoko got

And when your album or your movie is a total flop
You'll be redundant like Bobby Brown or Robocop
So please stop and let me off your guilt trip

I know you made a lot of money and you've milked it
But you're not as smart as you think you are
So shut your mouth mr. movie star


[Chorus]