The late night network TV shows
With celebrities smiling in their famous clothes
Sitting pretty, spitting witticisms on success

To a cackling clown behind a cardboard desk

In the Late Night Talk Wars

To pacify the truly bored
Corporations paying through the nose
To bring us Late Night Bozos

We love the Late Night Talk Shows

We've had enough of David so we settle for Jay

At this point anything different would be OK
We'll miss Dave's band but we settle for Jay
We've had enough of David. Hello Jay.


But we're laughing less at Leno so it's back to Dave
Although Jay used to be funny before his talk show host days

We're laughing less at Leno so it's back to Dave
Our finger's on the button. We zap him away


It's the Late Night Talk Wars - get off the couch and live your life
To pacify the truly bored - turn off the television
Corporations paying through the nose - to sell their useless %#@!

To bring us Late Night Bozos
We love the Late Night Talk Shows


And I can't name one reason why
The tired schtick of these two guys
Should superglue our bloodshot eyes

To their expensive suits and their ugly ties

Remember Chevy, Pat, Arsenio, Dennis and Jon

Peppy pop pundits. Poof, where have they gone?
Remember Chevy, Pat, Arsenio, Dennis and Jon
Early K.O.s, Dave and Jay battle on


So we're flippin' and a floppin' between Leno and Dave
Hours are lost and fortunes are made

Let's stop flip-floppin' between Leno and Dave
Turn the TV off and walk away


From the Late Night Talk Wars - get off the couch and live your life
To pacify the truly bored - turn off the television
Corporations paying through the nose - to sell their useless %#@!

To bring us Late Night Bozos
We love the Late Night Talk Shows