(Shane MacGowan)
I met with Napper Tandy
And I shook him by the hand

He said "Hold me up for Chrissake
For I can hardly stand"
The most disgraceful journey

On which I've ever been
The last time that I travelled on
The Boat Train


I had a couple of drinks in town
A few more at the port

I puked up on the gangway
But some kind folks helped me board
They helped me to a table

Poured whiskey down my throat
They sat me at a table
And I lost my watch and coat


First we drank some whiskey
Then we drank some gin

Then we drank tequila
I think that's what did me in
Then we drank some brandy

And the women had a dance
The steward then announced
That we could play the game of "chance"


We crowded round the table
With our money in our hands

I ended up on the other side
Without a penny in my pants
I woke up in the toilet

When we got to Holyhead
The doors were all a-banging
And I wished that I was dead


We got on board the train
And then we had a drink or two

Started playing poker
But the booze ran out at Crewe
Some people started sleeping

Others looked for duty free
Some !@$( started singing
"The little cottage by the Lee"

He then sang "Paper Roses"
"Boolavogue" "Eileen Aru"
Somebody started slagging off

The Pakis and the Jews

First I found some whiskey

Then I found some gin
I sat down in the corner
And I read the Daily News

First I drank the whiskey
Then I drank the gin
I tried to make the toilet

And I broke my $#&@in shin
Next thing that I knew
I was in London in the rain

Staggering up the platform
Off the Boat Train