[INTRO]
Intercom: Guys Michael Bolton is here
Andy: Oh great, send him in.

Michael: Hey guys
All: Hey thanks for coming.
Andy: How's it goin'?

Michael: I'm really sorry I'm late I just got caught up watching the Pirates of the Caribbean marathon…
have you seen those things?
All: Oh yeah, those are great.

Michael: Well I listened to your track and I loved it, and I wrote you this big, sexy hook I think you're gonna really dig.
Andy: Oh wow, that's great. You wanna just lay it down?
Michael: Boys lets get to it (to it to it to it)

[ANDY]
Here we go
Uh, Lonely Island, Michael Bolton (Michael: YEAH)

The night starts now
On track
The boys are back

The night starts now
The night starts now, baby, roll with us
Chickies snappin' at the neck when we rollin' up (Michael: Rollin'up!)

Club front doors ain't no holdin' up
Black card at the bar like I gives a $#&@ (Michael: Come on!)
[JORMA]

It's The Lonely Island
Welcome to the set
Some fellas lookin' jealous

Play that back and get wet (Michael: YEAH YEAH)
??? at my waist shank in my sock
You either get cut get stuffed or get shot

[MICHAEL]
This is the tale of Captain Jack Sparrow
Pirate so brave on the seven seas (Andy: What?)

A mystical quest to the isle of Tortuga
Raven locks sway on the ocean breeze
[AKIVA]

Yeah, that was kinda weird but we're back in the club
Buyin' out the bar so the groupies show us love (Michael: Keira Knightley!)
A fifth of ice man

I'm the top gunna
Heater on blast
I'm the number one stunna (Michael: Jack Sparrow!)

[ANDY]
Watch your girl because I ain't your mister nice guy
More like the meet ya take you home and $#&@ you twice guy

All dressed up with nowhere to run
I know I make you feel crazy when I-
(Michael: Now back to the good part!!!)

[MICHAEL]
One day he was born
He yearned for adventure (Andy: NO!)

Oh Captain Jack (Jorma: Yeah)
…
He's the pauper of the surf

The jester of Tortuga
But in Davy Jones locker
What lies in store? (Akiva: Yeah, we've seen the movie)

[ANDY]
Put your hands in the air
And say hell yeah

[MICHAEL]
Captain Jack (Andy: What?)
Johnny Depp (Andy: No)

[JORMA]
From the front to the back
Saying we count stacks c'mon

[MICHAEL]
Davy Jones (Jorma: Nope)
Giant squid (Jorma: Wrong)

[AKIVA]
Michael Bolton, we're really gonna need you to focus up
[MICHAEL]

Roger that let me try it with another film (Andy: Wait)
Life is a box of chocolates and my name is Forrest Gump (Andy: Not better)
Though I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed

I give Jenny all my love (Akiva: Come ON)
Okay, then I'm a legal aid
Erin Brockovich is my name (Akiva: Oh god)
Then you can call me Scarface
Snortin' mountains of cocaine (Andy: It doesn't matter)

You @@#!roaches wanna play rough?
Okay, I'm reloaded! HA HA!
This is the tale of Tony Montana
This is the tale!
Cool ??? flame

With Miami ???
European wife
Your !@%!e is polluted
This whole town's a #~!!@
Just waiting to get $#&@ed

Just waiting to get $#&@ed! (Andy: Okay it turns out Michael Bolton is a major cinephile)
You complete me (Andy: Yeah, yeah okay)
Song Information
Released May 7, 2011
Recorded 2011

Genre Comedy hip hop
Length 3:07
Label Universal Republic Records
Writers ndy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer, Jorma Taccone, Michael Woods
Producer Michael Woods