Ho Ho
When it's Christmas time
everybody's waitin' in a big $$# line

To sit on my lap
And beg for Elmo's, i-pads, and crap
Brats are outta control

my elves are doing nothing but shovelin' coal
Older girls sit on me
And get their picture taken ironically

Girl look at that belly
Like a bowl full of jelly
As seen on the telly

It sticks out
I come down your chimney
Though it don't quite fit me

Why do I smell kindling?
Put it out
My doctor told me I had diabetes

That's what happens when you eat a hundred billion cookies
I still deliver all this booty.
It don't matter if its drizzling, freezing, sleeting, blowin, snowin'

I'm Santa and I know it
I'm Santa and I know it
I got a big ole gut

I ain't nutcracker but do bust nuts
Girls love the taste
Of my sugarplums and my candy cane

I got a list of naughty's
It's pretty much a listing of all my shawty's
Wait Let me explain it

Mrs. Claus and I have a special arrangement
I'm jolly and burely
I never come early

I'm stuffin' your turkey
Check it out
When ladies get nippy

I'm makin' deliverys
From Dallas to Sydney
Then I'm out

Single moms are friendly
Every X-mas eve
When the night comes to and end my sack is always empty

Got a 9 inch beard, and I ain't afraid to grow it blow it show it comb it, stroke it
I'm Santa and I Know it
Jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle bells

Tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle elves
Comet Cupid donner blitzen Rudolph sail
I'm Santa and I know it