I was late getting to church on the morning of my ceremony

Stayed up too late, the night before

From fingering foreign dirty holes in the dark
The morning sun blinded my eyes
And made my skin look pale and tainted in light


And there were steps to climb as I unloosened my tie
As I began to walk the aisle

The congregation looked behind but I continued past the pews
And met my angel in a suit with a smile


As I looked him in the eye, I heard my best friend cry
We aren't fools to fall in love but let coupledom die


Ban marriage, ban marriage

The minister was drunk and high from

His rewrite of holy verse with more lies
But the organist she played
With a tenacity and grace that was fine


The whole room was filled with the thunder and flood
With just one chord, the thrill and clarity of sound


But soon the song went slowly dead
And I was forced to take a stand on one side

It was him or my !@$) hag, oh, well
I guess, she was never that good of a friend


After my !@$) hag friend had fled
The minister looked mighty fed and content
We said his rewritten vows that I could hardly pronounce

But was soon drowned it out by that organ and the shout

Ban marriage, ban marriage

Ban marriage, ban marriage

The congregation, stunned and dumbed

Looked upon me with an innocuous stare
I went down on my knees, I prayed that
There be truth and there be light in my day


In my hungover daze, I felt the thunder of God
It was the orders that I take the wrath upon my own rod

Then I repeated my own vows
They were perverted and they smelled of myself


That there is splendor in the harshness of bum
That consummation makes a grumble
And the sound that I have learned called


Ban marriage, ban marriage
Ban marriage, ban marriage

Ban marriage, ban it all