I was running down the street and my pants fell down
Passed my knees and then straight to the ground
My dong fell out it was spinning around

Scraping on the floor got bruised up and down
In a panic I ran to the closest passer by
she had a baby and the sight made it cry

I thought what the hell im not a bad guy
but what I didn't realise is I slapped it in the eye


I pulled my pants up and got out of there
The zip came up and I felt something tear
I thought my day couldn't get any worse

But on my way home I was struck by a hearse
I began to think I was under a curse
I'd nothing wrong cept the previous verse

But theres Nothing there that cant be fixed by a nurse
If it were upto me id put my day in reverse


Everything is out of control
Its past 5 pm Its time to patrol
Make sure you've got the sausage rolls

Girls tonight wouldn't touch em with a barge pole
Everything is out of control
Its past 5 pm Its time to patrol

Make sure you've got the sausage rolls
Girls tonight wouldn't touch em with a barge pole


I woke up one morning I was in a corn field
I was taking a dump cause it looked concealed
I looked to the sky and their Secrets were revealed

Don't know why they chose me but I must have appealed
Hundreds of Robots all stood in a line
all wearing XXL, Calvin kleins

I must admit their dancing was divine
Behind them stood a headley noise shrine


So I told them to take me to you leader
Took to me a room where I heard them playing feeder
They striped me down didn't ask a single thing

Next thing I know they were slipping on a ring
As you can imagine it wasn't on my hand
What was happening I just couldnt understand

I shut up and gave into the command
Once again this day was unplanned


Everything is out of control
Its past 5 pm Its time to patrol
Make sure you've got the sausage rolls

Girls tonight wouldn't touch em with a barge pole
Everything is out of control
Its past 5 pm Its time to patrol

Make sure you've got the sausage rolls
Girls tonight would touch em with a barge pole
Everything is out of control

Its past 5 pm Its time to patrol
Make sure you've got the sausage rolls
Girls tonight wouldn't touch em with a barge pole