Intro: sirens panned across channels

Verse 1:


Fasten your seat belts for the 7:30 guided tour


Meet Mister Bartholomew

He will translate for you


Please tell him if you do not understand


Verse 2:

You'll get an eyeful when we climb the highest tower in town

Above the mist and fog
We'll let our minds unclog
Please use the handrail when you're coming down


Bridge 1:


Put on wooden shoes

Walk away all your blues


Watch the windmills chase the gray clouds away


Instrumental break:

Verse 3:


There'll be no cameras taken on this portion of the trip
Best leave them all behind

They confiscated mine
For taking pictures of their paradise


Bridge 2:

Now we're crossing the wall

I hear the good times call
Up to the fourth floor
Gonna ride the riverboat home


Verse 4:


Hope you have all enjoyed the 7:30 Guided Tour
If you've enjoyed the tip
Please leave a little tip

A token for Bartholomew and me

(Repeat chorus w/wordless vocals to fade)