Verse 1
I'm an SOB/So you guys wanna know me/ oh gee/ is that a compliment to me/you'll see/let me introduce you to a douche; Me! Now see I hate Glee/but I'll sing it anyways, if you guys don't like showbiz/you can spin on my finger and bow down and blow me/either that or go flee/cause this is my show/and I'll blow it up in an attempt to show me! Don't be/afraid or doubt me/this is my story/ the glorification of Feddy/Lax/Ponny and Bonnie/and I'll force me/down your throat like Obi van Kenobi.
It started/ the first time I remembered I farted/I knew I wasn't a smartass/ I was born retarted/ smelling like a fattys twatty/ the smell was so abstract it almost felt like art and/by the age of one I was Mario-carting/ my kiddy wagon/ my diapers was sagging/ I had a petty swagger/ I receiver a butt load of petting and padding/ I got a lot of accolade towards my patty/-cakes that I made with mud on the patio/I got more attention than a royal wedding.


Chorus
I'm H.A.M and I'm mister/ Amundsen/ and I'm in this/ ominous mood/ I'm dominant/spitting ambivalent/ word feuds/ as others would be vomiting food/ Prominent dumb-asses you think that's pain in your abdominal/ that's a poo amulet/the size of an omelet/ I think you need an ambulance/ did you just crap your pants/cause you thought it was flatulence


Verse 2
I was a spoiled brat/schizophrenic paranoid brat/ with an eclectic tin foil hat/ flushing parakeets down the toilet/ but I didn't soil it/ I didn't want to spoil it/I crapped in the pot/ brought it to the stove and boiled it/ I remember my inner voice go; "Boy let/ it simmer/melt that swimmer/till we get a soup/ and lets go pour it in the playstation over the copy of Crash Bandicoot/ I was cute/ even though I was fat brute/ at the age of twelve I removed my own foreskin to reveal my red flute/

At fifth teen/I was in between/ adulthood/childhood/ and my neighborhood/ dressed to depress/ in baggy jeans and a hood/ If I could I would/ polish my own wood/ till it was no good/ then go buy bad food/ and if the line didn't move/I used my right foot/ kick that kid in the kidney/do you $#&@ing kid me/ old lady you wanna go there? Hit me/ I'll punch you in the titty/ oh here comes security/ that skinny guy, are you $#&@ing witty/ you better call for backup if you wanna fight with me/ are you %#@!ting me?

Chorus


Bridge
So then I moved to Morocco/ got my values real stuck yo/ inside my turban/ ate a bunch of tagine in the plural/ in the rural/ mountains/ and the parts that are urban/ joined the Arabic armada/ during Ramadan/I ate some camel/ I followed Islam/ but I had to get home/ so Morocco; Ma- Salam!


Verse 3
Home again/ what the $#&@? I aint got no friends/ shove in some Mirtazapine/ under my foreskin/ swallow some more camels and ask stupid people; How the $#&@ you've been? Finna gonna find a friend and leach in ta/ during the winter/ cause I'm in it/ to win it/ and I'll be on every minute/ gotta get rid of my old epidermis/ gotta $#&@ing skin it/ hey world; sit your $$# on my finger and spin it/ I aint been this/ long away from you, you cant take over, cause Imma king it! Cause I/ spit a couple of rhymes/as I double the time/you better stop sobbing and whine/ you mother$#&@ers cant even follow this word fapping of mine/ run yer mouth and snap fingers and those hand a clapping/ you don't know what is happening/ cause this type of rapping/ is too fast and/ as I tapdance/ you lapdance/ you're still twerking while I'm in the past tense/ I spit the speed of flatulence/Scribbling the syllables? $#&@ I'd rather dribbling and kill em all/ gotta get in a shot at the gullible/ I'm not fiddling or fumbling/ you guys are just mumbling the follow-ups/ trying to fib while nibbling your nuts/ do damn doobies you dumb dimwit/I don't take %#@! from #~!!@s you $$#wipe.

Chorus