My nursemaid once gave me a kiss and a farthing. Two pence would have made sense; this was alarming. I was a good boy! I never got sick! So this slice of a penny induced a coin trick.

I traded my farthing for an old metal soldier which I sold to my brother, a collector, much older. He gave me a penny which then begat three when I found for the soldier some staunch company.


My threepenny bit soon turned to a tanner when I resold some fruit; some plums and bananas. A half-shillings worth of shoe polish came next, and two bob from the bank men left my pockets perplexed.


With florin in hand I set up a stand and sold Penny Dreadfuls at second hand. Inside of a week Id made half a crown, and my story appraisals had earned some renown.

For one sovereign, one guinea, I sold off my stock and found my revenge when the nursemaid was shopping; she cried at the till, All I need is two pence! Said I, All Ive got is ten pound, four and six.