I've been good for weeks now I'm telling ya I'm in control
I've got my %#@! together I know when I should fold
It's just tonight nothing at all to fear

You'll be with me all the time it's not like I could run off anywhere

I go right home, but I won't be alone

A thousend in cash and a mobile phone
I don't know how I'll stop
I sure can't tell you when

I am lost in that whirpool again
Don't think I'll ever stop
Can't see a reason why

Only dying makes me feel, feel alive

It's that constant burden of trying to make it bearable

When my life is so $#&@ed up and so far from reparable
That make me look for that final nail for my coffin
It's way past midnight but I find hundreds in the nothing

(The same lies I've told everybody including myself a hundred times)

I go right home, I won't be alone

A thousend in cash and a mobile phone
I don't know how I'll stop
I sure can't tell you when

I am lost in that whirpool again
Don't think I'll ever stop
Can't see a reason why

Only dying makes me feel alive

Wide awake, I never went to bed

Naked by the window,
And the sun is pissing red
My hands look rusty, guess my nose has bled

Then I remember what my father said, what he said

I don't know how I'll stop

I sure can't tell you when
I am lost in that whirpool again
Don't think I'll ever stop

Can't see a reason why
Only dying makes me feel alive