[Verse 1]
It was the day after Christmas, out back in the shack
Santa Claus jumped out, vowing never come back

He said the rats kept him hostage, the roaches threatened his life
And the bugs by the trash carried six-inch knives
They started playing cards for everything they could find

And the winner of the hand would get Santa Claus' behind
That's when he asked for permission to go to the john
And he ran out the back until the crack of dawn

And as he jumped in the sleigh, he yelled back in fright
"Bad luck to you all and may you die in the night"


[Hook]
Just lay on back, lay on back
The streets are no joke

Just lay on back, lay on back
Don't let your life go up in smoke


[Verse 2]
Well, I was walking down the street and you know what I saw
It was a real good dude called Santa Claus

And as my guy went to jump in his sleigh
I saw a black limo come and take it away
I said, "Hey St. Nick, what is the deal?"

He said, "Reaganomics, and yes, it's for real
You know what they've taken from me?
They took my pride and my dignity

They took my reindeer, they took my box
They took all the children's little red socks
They took the dolls from the girls, the trunks from the boys

I come to find out, they took all my toys
And just when I thought they had ruined my life
I'll be damned, huh, they took my wife"


At times when contemplating the world, you say
They even get tougher on Christmas day

Santa Claus gets mugged for welfare checks
You lose your toys to a bookie's bet
A sleigh breaks down in New York City

Everybody just laughs, says, "It's a pity"
You hustle and bustle for a Christmas meal
But still you're not left with a four-handed deal

On the corner, the line stretches for blocks
Yellow storm the crowd, I wish it was hot
You fight rats in the alley for a candy cane

You shovel snow then sell it for frozen cocaine
Drunks with the shutter in the backstreet alley
Politicians take a turn with a hooker named Sally

Old people try to looking young again
The snow, what's it cost? Try to kick it, my friend
They said they cut your electric, water, and gas

She said, damn, won't the world let me pass

It started out one day, not in a sleigh

But St. Nick was coming down
When he hit the street, there was no reindeer feet
But a Bug with the Pioneer sound

When he got out the ride, all the little kids cried
"Santa Claus, where's all the toys?"
Santa raised his head and then he said

"There's not a thing for the girls or the boys"

Breakdown


[Hook]


[Verse 3]
Well, let's guarantee that life is a trip
If you don't watch your step, you just might slip

You gotta stay up to stay ahead on the count
Because on top of your head all your troubles will mount
You know the Lord has really been good

I might even go to Hollywood
And when I get to that neighborhood
I want my name to be understood

Chilly J is what they'll say
When I rock the mic in a vicious way
Chilly J is what they'll shout
When I come in to a party and I turn it out


I said when I was young, don't you know
I used to check out Sugarhill and Kurtis Blow
But now that I'm a rapper and I know the deal
I don't need Kurtis Blow or Sugarhill
Cause I'm the Boogie Man and I'll blow your mind

See, I could drop the bomb and end your behind
And for sure for sure, it's gonna make you quake
Your hip will start bopping and your booty will shake
You'll start clapping your hands, you'll start stomping your feet
But you will never forget that funky beat

So all the ladies in the house this ladies' night
If you're feeling good, say, "Sure you're right"
(Sure you're right!)
Say sure you're right
(Sure you're right!)

I got ya
And fly guys in the house, if you're feeling the flow
You're taking it easy, say you're taking it slow
Don't sit in your seats just looking dead
Just shout out loud, "Go 'head"
(Go 'head)

Go 'head
(Go 'head)
Come on

S for special, K is for kind
Y is for the yeti to wiggle your behind
Z is for the zany things I whisper in your ear

Double "o" is for the sounds you make when I'm near
It may seem like it's over, but it never is
I rock from New York to the land of showbiz
You can go to France and look the whole place through
But you'll be back in the harem of Skyzoo

L.A., where you at?

New York, where you at?
Cleveland, where you at?
Atlanta, where you at?
Philadelphia, where you at?
Las Vegas, where you at?
Detroit, where you at?
Chicago, where you at?

Cincinnati, where you at?
Sandusky, where you at?

[Hook]