I took my troubles down to Madame Ruth.
You know that gypsy with the gold-capped tooth.
She's got a pad down on Thirty-Fourth and Vine,

Sellin' little bottles of Love Potion Number Nine.

I told her that I was a flop with chicks.

I'd been this way since nineteen fifty-six.
She looked at my palm and she made a magic sign.
She said, "What you need is Love Potion Number Nine."


She bent down and turned around and gave me a wink.
She said, "I'm gonna mix it up right here in the sink."

It smelled like turpentine and looked like India Ink.
I held my nose, I closed my eyes, (I took a drink).


I didn't know it was a-day or night.
I started kissin' everything in sight.
But when I kissed the cop down on Thirty-Fourth and Vine,

He broke my little bottle of Love Potion Number Nine.

[Instrumental break.]


I held my nose, I closed my eyes, (I took a drink).


I didn't know it was a-day or night.
I started kissin' everything in sight.
But when I kissed that cop down on Thirty-Fourth and Vine,

He broke my little bottle of Love Potion Number Nine.
[Fade.]
Love Potion Number Nine.

Love Potion Number...