Me and my mates went out to the bar
Just to see who the drunken saps are

Pathetic little people to the left and right
We can't get blamed if they forget the night
After one round o' drinks I can pretty much tell

My mates are ready to raise some hell

They won't know what hit 'em when we run amok

SPRING IT ON 'EM WHEN THEY'RE DRUNK AS !#@*!
The hipster crowd thinks it's safe to duck
SPRING IT ON 'EM WHEN THEY'RE DRUNK AS !#@*!

Look at those hicks from the pickup truck
SPRING IT ON 'EM WHEN THEY'RE DRUNK AS !#@*!
The pretty girls saw us and out they snuck

SPRING IT ON 'EM WHEN THEY'RE DRUNK AS !#@*!

Me and my mates were at a bar mitzvah

The open bar must have cost a little extra
In honor of entering his manhood
The big boy's guests were getting smashed up good

But before they could come out with the main entree
My mates decided to make 'em oy vey


We tried throwin' bagels and the bagels stuck
SPRING IT ON 'EM WHEN THEY'RE DRUNK AS !#@*!
We found some hummus and we launched that muck

SPRING IT ON 'EM WHEN THEY'RE DRUNK AS !#@*!
Saying mazel tov doesn't bring good luck
SPRING IT ON 'EM WHEN THEY'RE DRUNK AS !#@*!

If the kid complains we'll give him eighteen bucks
SPRING IT ON 'EM WHEN THEY'RE DRUNK AS !#@*!


We went to a shindig with the bourgeoisie
The place was stuffy but the drinks were free
They looked at us funny when we started to cuss

What makes those pricks think they're better than us
While they sip glasses of wine and champagne
Me and my mates are goin' half insane


Tell the host that the hors d'ouvres suck
SPRING IT ON 'EM WHEN THEY'RE DRUNK AS !#@*!

The rich girls here could use a tummy tuck
SPRING IT ON 'EM WHEN THEY'RE DRUNK AS !#@*!
The quartet bassist doesn't know how to pluck

SPRING IT ON 'EM WHEN THEY'RE DRUNK AS !#@*!
Police don't take well to being struck
THEY SPRUNG 'EM ON US WHEN WE'RE DRUNK AS !#@*!

THEY SPRUNG 'EM ON US WHEN WE'RE DRUNK AS !#@*!