Sometimes I find life worth living
Like each breath is a gift wrapped with a ribbon
'Cuz each date we shape fate with decisions

And each chance could be the last one given
Black and white is what this world isn't
So many shades reflect UV rays

And color the cornea in unique ways
Creation's canvas on daily display


Sometimes I wish I wasn't here
Wadcutter blows holes through both ears
Clean slate

Liberated weight
No fear
Ask me the truth and that's what you'll hear

Some can't stomach a state so severe
That's why the pill's so hard to swallow
Pleasure and peril now pointless

Hollow
The depths of hopelessness
Where I'll wallow


Most times I feel apathetic
Like ?$#&@ it?, ?whatever?, and ?okay, forget it?

Twenty-nine years and I still don't get it
But the feeling is real and I'm unapologetic
Fifteen years self five leaf medic

Music and not much else to my credit
Sure I could do with a few life edits
But I don't fix %#@!

I just let it?

This time I'm more motivated

Hunger
Desire
Thoroughly cultivated

Previous attempts I've somewhat emulated
While honing my craft
Do math and I'll demonstrated it

Still to deal with my ills I'm sedated
Many an hour if it's in my power
Depression is like wilted pedals on a flower

And this is my photosynthesizer