Tommy stutters comically
When he says a lot of things,
Mommy does the shopping,

Daddy's digging through the laundry bins,
He likes to try on mommy's things
With his hair up in her bobby pins

The neighbors very neighborly
Occasionally taking peeks at his neice while she takes a pee
I heard the plumbers found a finger when they fixed the ba!@&(t leak


So pick up the phone
Fix up your lawn

Turn the TV on
There's nothing wrong
Middle America, I love you


Old Mister Wilkenson killed a man
Drunk from the bar

Hit him with the front of his car
Drug him so far,
There was nothing but parts,

For hundreds of yards
Those thick damn power lines,
Will drive you out your mind

Edna sits in the shower sometimes,
For hours and cries,
Whenever she forgets to tell Howard goodbye


So pick up the phone
Fix up your lawn

Turn the TV on
There's nothing wrong
Middle America, I love you


Smoking softly but,
Mommys body shook

Droped the coffee cup
I guess the coffee wasn't strong enough
Becca was a quiet girl

Behind the wheel
With a mouth full of diet pills
A couple beers

And some stuff for your sinuses
Dancing in the fire
Smashing all of the appliances

The psychiatrist said, the zoloft had some side effects.

So pick up the phone

Fix up your lawn
Turn the TV on
There's nothing wrong

Middle America, We love you

Pick up your phone

Fix up your lawn
Turn the TV on
There's nothing wrong

Miss America, We love you