I'm a Christmas unicorn
In a uniform made of gold
With a billy goat beard

And a sorceror's shield
And a mistletoe on my nose


Oh I'm a Christian holiday
I'm a symbol of original sin
I've a pagan tree and magical wreath

And a bowtie on my chin

Oh I'm a pagan heresy

I'm a tragic-al Catholic shrine
I'm a little bit shy with a lazy eye
And a penchant for sublime


Oh I'm a mystical apostasy
I'm a horse with a fantasy twist

Though I play all night with my magical kite
People say I don't exist


For I make no full apology
For the category I reside
I'm a mythical mess with a treasury chest

I'm a construct of your mind

Oh I'm hysterically American

I've a credit card on my wrist
And I have no home nor field to roam
I will curse you with my kiss


Oh I'm a criminal pathology
With a history of medical care

I'm frantic shopper and a brave pill popper
And they say my kind are rare


But I've seen others in the uniform
Of a unicorn just like me
We are legions wide and we chose no sides

We are masters of mystique

For you're a Christmas unicorn

I have seen you on the beat
You may dress in the human uniform, child
But I know you're just like me

I'm a Christmas Unicorn! (Find the Christmas Unicorn!)
You're a Christmas Unicorn too!
It's all right. I love you.


I'm a Christmas Unicorn! (Find the Christmas Unicorn!)
You're a Christmas Unicorn too!

It's all right. I love you.
(repeated)