It's four o' clock
the t.v.'s on
my mind is shut off

and my own thoughts are gone
I change the channel
I change my mind

I change my life
I wanna leave it all behind
cause I don't have a mind of my own

I am influenced by
everything I see
and I can't help it now

everything in my life
just thinks for me
can't help this habit

I'm in love with my disease
worshiping my idle time
a life I cannot seize

trapped by depression
and I sleep all day
but xanax, valium, attavan

makes it all ok
it's so much more
than a cry for attention

no loving hands can sooth this ache
so much more than a war with the world
it's my own degradation

it's my own self hate
I preach my pessimism
right out loud to anyone who'll listen

I'm not afraid to be alive
I'm afraid to be alone
late at night my monsters find me

from under the bed or out of my past
all alone with nobody to talk to
sanity gets put to the test

I close my eyes but I'm still haunted
sometimes I get too twisted to sleep
as all my world crumbles all around me

inspirations become admissions of defeat
cuz I don't have a mind of my own
everything in my life just thinks for me