If you don't golf that's okay
You can be a tiger anyway
Laugh through your teeth when things gets tough

Or your balls are gonna wind up in the rough, yeah yeah

If you wanna be like Tiger Woods

Fertilisin' ladies in the neighbourhood
Get real rich and you will find
All the hot chicks will want to grind


If you wanna be like Tiger Woods
Grip that shaft like you know you should

In the back of a car, it will be all good
The girls will want you just like Tiger Woods


Remember this when you're having fun
Three holes are better than a hole in one, yeah
If the word gets out don't be afraid

When a 9 iron's heading for your Escalade, yeah yeah

If you wanna be like Tiger Woods

Filling all the divots in the neighbourhood
Don't think about those three foot putts
You crawl to your traps when you're begging them !@#%s


If you wanna be like Tiger Woods
Text messages are never good

Nail a girl at the driving range
Your life will change, just like Tiger Woods


Have your best friend book all your flights
Tell your wife that you're golfing nights
Get a calll girl and maybe just chill

Be ready to part with a hundred mill

Bang a new !@$^star everyday

Tell your sponsors it will be okay
Surprise them all with an invitation
To a viewing of your first double penetration, yeah


If you wanna be like Tiger Woods
Poking all the holes in the neighbourhood

Tell your wife how it's gonna be
Your driver is community property


If you wanna be like Tiger Woods
...
Become the king of your neighbourhood

Like Steel Panther and Tiger Woods

Just like Tiger Woods, oh yeah yeah