There was a bounty hunter in the depths of space
And she could easily combine your stupid $$# with your face
Her name was Samus Aran and she would destroy metroids

When she wasn't totally pissed she was extremely annoyed
She stood up to every challenge no matter however demanding
And her courage was amazing and her boobies were outstanding

-What! ?
Er... nothing I was just saying that you're brave
Um ok hey look over there haha it's Kraid...


I'm the strongest dragon that you've ever seen
You're gonna die mother $#&@er

I take up five screens
I'm gonna swallow you whole
And then you'll go down easy

Then you'll be digested
And converted to feces!


I'll take off your helmet see the fear in your eyes
And your beautiful hair and your well-toned thighs
And your pillowy lips and -wait you're not a guy?

-Is that a problem you $#&@?
Er... no prepare to die!


Kraid was hesitating but Samus was set to fight
She got into a battle stance that made her butt look super tight
And Kraid said "No way I think there has been a gigantic mistake

I actually just wanted to give you some desserts that I baked"
But Samus said: "What pisses me off most in this world
Is when enemies get nice when they all find out I'm a girl

So do me a favour and take your cakes and your pies
And shove them so far up your $$# that they end up behind your eyes."


Stop treating me like I'm a sex object
My other friend's a woman but she gets respect
-Yea Kraid! You never talk to me that way!

-Oh gosh I wonder if it's because you're a huge disgusting brain?
Get the $#&@ off my planet this is your last chance.
I'm gonna go ahead and slide out of my pants.

That's it you're all $#&@ing dead.
What? This room feels stuffy
By the way do you like puppies? HERE'S A BASKET OF PUPPIES


-Whoops killed the puppies.