Uh, and my unibrow is plucked
Just asked my mom if I could borrow ten bucks
She's like "For what?

Blunt wraps and some Heineken?
You skinny prick, go get a gym membership and vitamins!"
I'm like, Mom please, don't blame it on me

I got my bad habits from you, Dad, and Aunt Steve
My attitude's sour but my futon's sweet,
And the hair on my $$#, it is Jumanji


Suit untailored, ringtone Taylor Swift
Can't tweet up on my Twitter

Cuz I haven't done %#@!
Bank account red, body ungroomed
The only thing good about me is I'm off stage soon


I'm awesome!
No you're not, dude don't lie

I'm awesome!
I drive around in my mom's ride
I'm awesome!

A quarter of my life gone by
And I met all my friends online
mother$#&@er I'm awesome!

I will run away from a brawl
I'm awesome!
There's no voicemail, nobody called

I'm awesome!
I can't afford to buy eight balls
And I talk to myself on my Facebook wall

I'm awesome

Futhermore I'm cornier than Ethynol

Cheesier than Provolone
I spent ages eight to ten living in a motor home


With an ego the size of Tim Duncan
Even though I got %#@! for brains like a blumpkin
I'm twenty four, serving lobster rolls

Because I spent a decade filling optimos
And I'm not even the bomb in Maine
On my game I'm only about as sexy as John McCain

Now put your hands up,
If you have nightmares
If you wouldn't man up if there was a fight here

If you got dandruff, if you drink light beer
I'm outta breath...


But I'm awesome!
No you're not, dude don't lie
I'm awesome!

I drive around in my mom's ride
I'm awesome!
A quarter of my life gone by

And I met all my friends online
mother$#&@er I'm awesome!
I will run away from a brawl

I'm awesome!
There's no voicemail, nobody called
I'm awesome!

I can't afford to buy eight balls
And I talk to myself on my Facebook wall
I'm awesome