my house is in the subs, reppin the mid class
driveway's really long, lawn's full of grass
breakin out the salts and suds, takin a bath

scarfing down dill pickles like i'm eating a rugrat

getting frosted tips call me lance bass

told my girl bye bye no strings attached
the year before college, parents bought me a mac
three point eight GPA, totes on track


catch with my dad, we're playing in the park
best be home by nine or at least before dark

my favorite holiday is the fourth of july
every time i watch the notebook, i break down and cry


no loans from college, shout out to my trust fund
me and my amigos at the food court cinnabon
i dont own a boat but i wear boat shoes

my grandpa just died, now i have a boat too!

my dad tucks his shirt right into his jeans

all my friends' names are chad, mike, and steve
i dont fight back, i turn the other cheek
when it comes to spf, a hundred on the sunscreen


camping in the summer, rolling out the rv
my uncle rocks a mustache he looks like a creep

i see you coming and you rolling squad deep
but who needs friends when you have d&d?


play a round of golf at the country club
my uncle owns the place, he's the boss, donald trump
practiced for a year just to learn the crump

being smart as a kid earned a spank on the rump

yeah, i'm fly when we're going on vaca

and ill when i'm stuck in bed all day
my dad showed me tennis, he taught me how to play
i follow every sport except the NBA


hey i'm ryan, not as white as these guys
but my skin's still pale cuz i stay inside

half middle-eastern and that is my pride
i check the "white" box but that's really a lie


for my birthday parties, it's always surprise
role model as a kid was harriet the spy
for special occasions, i rock clip-on ties

my pets run away whenever they die

i say i'm armenian so that i'm relatable

say i've got rhythm but that's debatable
my combos in street fighter are inescapable
my skin and a snowstorm are interexchangeable


my pokemon cards, they're all tradable
i write essays legibly so that they're gradable

being good at rapping, now that's unattainable
if a girl's republican, my mom says she's datable