I'm not just some dilettante
If you'll excuse me, I've got names to drop
You think my lyrics don't make sense?

Well, maybe you're a little dense

Pretentious? Moi? Don't be absurd

Sure, I use some twenty dollar words
But brother, I'm the salt of the Earth
And while my band might be subpar

And I'm stuck here tending bar
I hold my own with all the punk rock stars


My politics are so correct
I march along in perfect step
And all my pals think like I do

That's how I know I've got a clue

Now let me make this crystal clear

You point and laugh at all that I hold dear
But I've got the respect of all my peers
And they're allowed to take the piss

But if you cross me then I'll shake my fist
And tell the internet about it


I'm a big man

It's time for me to show my $$#

And pass some rumors on as fact
Now don't you dare call me a clown
I'll have my lawyer shut your website down


I went on tour with NOFX
I didn't really have a job with them

But I'll have you know they're personal friends
I got to ride Fat Mike's giraffe
And we all sat around and laughed

At everyone who's sick of my act

Little big man

I'm a big man
Little big man