When I was 8 years old
Before puberty took hold
I thought I

would end up beside a princess bride
And love was indivisible
Never mind how my taste reflects

A disturbing Oedipus complex
It's not awkward girl
The compliments are coming next


You're no witch, you're no wench,
You're like Bjork with better fashion sense

A phone, 50 cents, and I'm building up my confidence
Respect to your work, you're an artist,
I'm a silly jerk

I think that dynamic could work

I have a total crush on you, baby

And I can't let it go, oh no
I have a total crush on you baby, baby!
If only I could let you know


We spoke no joke
I started shedding !@#%ty girls

Like snake skin, my collection
Acquired through shallow misdirection
And as I drive tonight

West coast sky
Daring me to try
I feel alive tonight

Possibility, that I'm your guy
Though I suffer from dyslexia,
Mild man-orexia

And my hair cannot commit
To one popular genre of music
And though they all claim,

That a girl can't take a boy's last name
Or end up divorced and estranged
I'm counting on you


I have a total crush on you, baby
And I can't let it go, oh no

I have a total crush on you baby, baby!
If only I could let you know!


Your other suitors are no poets
They're only actors who can play guitar
Have I won your heart?

They're not students or screenwriters
They're only models that they taught to me
Love would you agree?


I have a total crush on you, baby
And I can't let it go, oh no

I have a total crush on you baby, baby!
If only I could


Quite sure you love me, Sherri
Quite sure I love you too
We should make a verbal agreement only to kiss each other

Because one time, beneath the sky, outside my new york pigsty
I saw a vision of you and I! haha! alright!


Did it hurt? Did it hurt? Did it hurt,
When you fell from heaven girl?
Did it hurt? Did it hurt? Did it hurt,

When you fell from heaven girl?
La da-da da-da da-da, la da-da da-da
La da-da da-da da-da, la da-da da-da