Ho Ho Ho woke up this morning with a scary feeling
Realized it was November first
Christmas oh my god its nearing

What am I to do I said
Then I covered up my head
Prayed for sleep for two more months intill this holy mess is over

Wasn't that lucky I turned on the TV
Beanie Babies on the news
Biggest selling gift this year

What's a tired Jew to do?
So TV off, Try to escape, Called my Friend from Silver lake
Said to meet on Fairfax for some some coffee and a cougal


Talk about our fear and dread of tinsel lights and parties
Suddenly like a bad dream

Fairfax was transformed into a holiday paradise everywhere was Hanukah
Shiny Sparkly blue and white isn't this a little soon
I got up quick ran to the mall

Before my pain got any worse
What a stupid thing to do
I'm a sitting duck in Santa's zoo

Suddenly I couldn?t walk
I couldn?t breath I couldn?t move
Children running everywhere

Screaming tis this season

Merry Christmas Merry Christmas

But I think Ill miss this one this year
Merry Christmas Merry Christmas
But I think Ill miss this one this year


Merry Christmas Merry Christmas
But I think Ill miss this one this year

Merry Christmas Merry Christmas
But I think Ill miss this one this year


December first the pains have gone
Thought about Adams Hanukah song
He forgot to mention me

Thats ok his song was better
Photograph on Santa's lap
Now over my fear of shopping

Bought gifts for all my goiant friends
One for each, not eight
Sorting cards from all my friends

Sweet of them to take the time
One pile for all the Christmas cards from friends who just don?t get it yet
Hanukkah day on overload I just cannot stop eating

I have so many lackey that my tush is going to explode

All I walk it off and so I walk to the Kabala Center just to kill some time I

thought I spotted Madonna
Christmas Day Hanukkahs done
Woke up feeling funny

Maybe its cuz I lost half my hair and I have spent all of my money
Whats a Jew to do today?
LA is a ghost town

Looks just like another year of movies and Chinese food
Then suddenly I laughed and laughed and caught on to that was happening
Christmas magic brought this tale to a very happy ending


Merry Christmas Merry Christmas
I couldnt miss this one this year

Merry Christmas Merry Christmas
But I couldnt miss this one this year


Merry Christmas Merry Christmas
But I couldnt miss this one this year
Merry Christmas Merry Christmas

But I couldnt miss this one this year