I am guybrush threepwood.
The only non-undead pirate to know the secrets of monkey island.
Well, four secrets actually.


I am guybrush threepwood,
And i have overstayed my welcome through many graphic adventures.

I am guybrush threepwood,
And i have come here to rid this island of deadly and murdorous... clam?
I am guybrush threepwood,

And i don't have a drinking problem.
I am captain threepwood,
I've been to monkey island four times.

Defeated the evil pirate lechuck repeatedly.
I uncovered the gates of hell,
I destroyed an australian land-developer and his ultimate insult.

Discovered the worlds only talking monkey,
And married the most beautiful governour in the world.
And all before the age of 22.