This is the place
Is it what you expected
You should have seen

All the ones i rejected
Cozy and comfy
What i humbly call home

But the truth is
A man shouldnt be alone
Dont be confused

There is nothing to decide
Consider it insisted
Youre coming inside

I want you to
Kiss my mezuzah
Just throw all your things on the bench

Blessed are you and oh yeah me too
Youre in the home of a mensch
That is the living room

Is it what you expected
Admittedly the upholstery
Is a little bit neglected

Cozy and comfy
Thats a sixty-inch plasma
The hepa filters noisy

But its good for my asthma
Dont be confused
There is nothing to decide

Consider it insisted
Youre coming inside
I want you to

Kiss my mezuzah
Relax unwind unclench
Blessed are you and oh yeah me too

Youre in the living room of a mensch
That is the kitchen
Is it what you expected

Wednesdays the whole place
Gets disinfected
Cozy and comfy

Thats granite its nice
The line to the freezer
Has a filter for the ice

Dont be confused
There is nothing to decide
Consider it insisted

Go on go inside
Remember that i want you to
Kiss my mezuzah

My thirst has found its quench
Blessed are you and everything that youll do
Catering to the kosher culinary needs of your mensch

That is the bedroom
Where is done whats expected
All of my biblical needs

Are respected
Dark velvet curtains
That block out the light

Just for the record
I sleep on the right
Dont be confused

There is nothing to decide
Consider it insisted
Well not yet go inside

But when we do im going to want you to
Kiss my mezuzah
Redecorate make it french

Blessed is thee et oui moi aussi
Youll be commanded to please your mensch
That is my office

A little unexpected
A list of conditions
So both of us are protected

Cozy and comfy
Are things when theyre working
But god only knows

There is danger thats lurking
Dont be confused
There is nothing to decide
Just sign on the line
Go on just step inside

Or if not ill just
Kiss my own mezuzah
Im resilient i can always retrench
Blessed am i for always standing by
The needs of this fine available attractive

Secure well-rounded intelligent lonely mensch