Here they come down main street
Drums a flailin' and the sirens a wailin' what a roar!
Bands are a playin' and flags are a wavin'

And the vanguards and motorcycle corps

Clowns are a clownin' to the crowd

And pinchin' every pretty girl who dares to smile
It's a glorious mess everybody wears a fez
The parade stretches out for a mile


It's a typical american phenomenon
Where all the members have a fine old time

It's the forty-third annual convention
Of the grand mystic royal order
Of the nobles of the ali baba temple of the shrine


Meanwhile back at the motel


"operator give me room 321 please
Hello noble lumpkin?
This here is the illustrious potentate

I said it's the illustrious potentate
The illustrious coy!"


"dad blame it! this here's bubba!
Coy why are'nt you at the parade?
What? well how'd you get that big harley

Up there in your room?"

"what? i can't hear ya' coy!

Quit revvin' it up boy! turn it off!
Listen i just want you to know one thing
You have embarrassed us all the whole hahira delegation! "


"now i'll see you at the banquet tonight son
And you be there coy you hear me?

Black tie! seven o'clock! be there coy!
And coy don't answer the phone 'udden udden!"


Well it was all arranged by the ladies auxiliary
In the downtown convention hall
Cold roast beef string beans mashed potatoes

And nine boring speeches in all

And all the tables looked fine with their mogen david wine

And chrysanthemums on each side
And the hahira leaders in their rented tuxedos
Made the local hearts swell with pride


It's a typical american phenomenon
Where all the members have a fine old time

It's the forty-third annual convention
Of the grand mystic royal order
Of the nobles of the ali baba temple of the shrine


Meanwhile back at the motel


"operator 321 please? thank you!
Hello coy? what are you doin'?
What do you mean who is this?

This is bubba? why wasn't you at the banquet?"

"what do you mean all you had to wear

Was a hawaiian flowerdy shirt?
Well you may think you're foolin' some people
But i know what's goin' on"


"yeah everybody seen the little redhead
That's right everybody!

Why she come runnin' through the dinner
Right in the middle of the pineapple sherbet"


"didn't have nothin' on but your fez coy!
Coy you the only one who's got a fez with a propeller on top!
Yeah yeah and she was a yellin' out the secret code too coy

We gonna have to change it now coy! dad blame it coy!"

"we gonna have to have a special meetin' we get back to hahira
About your conduct at this year convention! embarrassin'!
Now coy you be at the secret conclave tonight you hear me?

And coy keep it a secret! huh!"

Well it was a secret meeting in the dead of the night
With mysterious sanctimony
In accordance with prescribed

Rituals of time honored ceremony

Matters of grave concern
Were weighed with dedicated caution
Like whether or not to raise at stud

Or draw or spit in the ocean

It's a typical american phenomenon
Where all the members have a fine old time
It's the forty-third annual convention

Of the grand mystic royal order
Of the nobles of the ali baba temple of the shrine

Meanwhile back at the motel

"operator room 320

How how'd you know?
Oh! hello coy! where have you been?
No you wasn't at the meeting!"

"well i found out that at three o'clock this mornin'
You was out there in your fruit of the looms
In the motel swimmin' pool with a bunch

Of them waitresses from the @@#!tail lounge!"

"i just hope charlene don't find out about this coy!
What? well how'd you get that big motorcycle
Up there on the high dive coy?
Now coy dad blame it that ain't no way to act"


"we supposed to be pillars of the community
When we get back to hahira you can just turn in your ring
And your tie tack 'cause coy hehe you are out of the shrine!
You gonna be blackballed coy! that's right!"

"you may have to pack your bags and leave town!
What do you mean you might join the hell's angels?

Coy! don't you hang up on me!
Don't you crank that motorcycle!"

"who's that gigglin' in the background coy?
Hello hello operator! yeah we's cut off! room 321
Coy! don't you hang up on the illustrious potentate!
I said the illustrious potentate!

This is bubba! bubba! coy! coy!"