Hi! I'm the Rap Critic and these are the top 5 worst lyrics I've ever heard this month5. "I Got 5 on It" by Luniz"I take sacks to the face whenever I can"HAHAHA! I'm sorry but I can't be the only person who thinks that sounds like he's saying that he enjoys taking you know smooth jazz lessons? Oh also *sample Wale episode* BallsI mean after listening to it again I understand he's just talking about weed but it's very easy to misconstrue something like that4. "2nd Round K.O." by CanibusAw man I remember this song! This is the one where Canibus an up and coming rapper of the late 90's took on LL Cool J an established act in HipHop and back then that was a bold move to do so if you're gonna diss a legend you'd better come correct in every single lyric!You walk around showing off your body cause it sellsYeah LL did do that a lot"Mad at me cause I kick that %#@! real ^!$$%s feel
While 99% of your fans wear high heels"Oh snap!"Well lemme tell you something: You May Have more cash than meGet 'em!"But you ain't got the skills..."Yeah!"...to eat a ^!$$%'s $$# like me"Yea-- what?3. "You a Problem" by Trinidad James"T-R-N-I-DAD!"You just misspelled your own name do you rappers ever LISTEN to your songs after you record them or do you guys have such big egos that you just $$#ume that there's no possible way you could have done anything wrong?2. "Back In the Days" Missy Elliot feat. Jay-ZSo in this song Missy Elliot and Jay-Z reminisce on the late 80's and early 90's of Hip Hop as Jay makes a couple clever play on word lyrics using rappers' names. But uh one of them wasn't that clever"I kill at will like solid water dude"Solid Water? Really?"y'all ^!$$%s don't get it"No we got it"Kill at Will?"Yeah we get it it's just not funny"Solid Water"Yes thank you"Ice Cube"You know if feel the need to explain your joke it's probably not that funny. And I know his delivery is a bit of a call-back to the Biggie Smalls lyric:"If Faye (Biggie's wife) had twins she'd probably have 2Pac's get it Two Pacs?But honestly that joke didn't make much sense either. Hey wouldn't it be funny if the women I'm married to actually had sex with the person who publicly hates me? Hehe Wait I'm not sure who that joke is supposed to be making fun of...But going back to this lyric. It just sounds awkwardly shoved in here and the stilted flow that throws in "dude" in the first line just so it can be rhymed with "Ice Cube" is just face-palm-worthy. The whole thing just sounds like this conversation took place afterwards:Jay-Z: No seriously did you guys get it? Cause like "solid water" is the same thing as an ice cube and like Ice cube is a rapper who did an album called Kill at Will!Engineer: No we got itJay-Z: I'm just saying' cause like nobody in the studio was laughingEngineer: It was just so funny we forgot to JayJay-Z: Oh okay I thought maybe there was a problem with the hey!1. "Numb" by Rihanna feat. Eminem"IMGOINGNUMB... IMGOINGNUMB... IMGOINGNUMB...IMGOINGNUMB... IMGOINGNUMB... IMGOINGNUMB...IMGOINGNUMB... IMGOINGNUMB... IMGOINGNUMB..."*Core shut down* Repetition is making brain too numb for lyrical !@#^ysiiiiiiiiiiii--Eminem: "Do I look high?"Oh hey Eminem!I'm the siren that you hear I'm the butt police
And I'm looking at your REAR REAR REAR!Oh no it's the "desperately trying to be as funny as the old me" Eminem circa RelapseYou know hearing two lyrical masters like Jay-Z and Eminem saying lines this corny is kinda killing my sense of humor. I mean this is so lame I'm not sure I'll ever laugh again"I take sacks to the face whenever I can"*snicker* Okay nevermind...