Ferris wheels and bumper cars are fun
But those rides just aren't for everyone
Bought my ticket I'ma have a run

In the maze (WHOOOO!)
If I don't come back or right away
Give me time at least a half a day

Don't just leave me lost and blown away
In the maze (WHOOOO!)
Hello ladies and gentlemen I'm Jeff Nipple

And I'm Jimbo Jizm
Welcome to the Dark Carnival's amazing maze
Over 5000 ways to get in, and no way out

Let's meet today's volunteer
This is Rick
We like to call him Rick the Dick

Dickface here is a wealthy entrepeneur
Who smacks his wife around
And buys his way in and out of everything

Let's see how Mr. Toughguy fairs up in the amazing maze

[Violent J]

What up (*##$? I'm Violent J
I'll be your guide for today, k?
Good, got mad doors and mad floors

Hallways, crawlways, walls for nedens
Make a left just before you make a right
And your left should be to your right

If your lefts right, right?
Good, begin the show
Go on ahead boy and open up the first door

Welcome to a theatrical thriller
Meet Jack Doobie a serial killer
With a chainsaw, he takes your arm at the elbow

You get it back if you make it out though
$#&@ ain't no use crying all day
You need to take your (*##$ $$# back down the hallway

You gotta be a man at least you learned
Everything you get in the maze you've earned
Keep runnin times a tickin on the clock

You might wanna tie that stump up with a sock
Turn right it might look the same
But you makin tracks through the room of thumbtacks

This really ain't %#@!
About a million tacks and the room spins a bit
If you stay on your feet you'll be okay

Oh let me get out of your way
Oh boy Rick the Dick is in a bit of a jam there Jeff
That's right Jimbo

He looks like a ragdoll flippin and spinnin like that
You can always witness spectacles truly amazing
Within the amazing maze

Let's see where else Rick's adventures
Will lead the little dickwipe
Hahaha, so you got a few tacks in your balls

Pick 'em all out and head right back down the halls
What's this? Dead end, doors locked
It's a long way back, just knock

Oh should've turned around no doubt
Ain't nuthin that we got to sit and argue about
Keep going make a left, right left

Now run straight ahead some more
Open up the door
Slide in the sheets, nice breeze

Relax ninja take it with ease
The maze is a place of magic
Many surprises, your dick rises

Lay down expect the best
In comes your lover with a hairy chest
Hello sexy I'm grim love

Let me have a look at your uhh milk dud
Aww %#@! you fell for that
I ain't gonna tell you got your hole ring tapped

All that dissin of the opposite sex
And look who just got they butthole flexed
Wait! What's that?

The walls are closing in, $#&@ dat
Hurry run for your life
Ohh he'll be alright
How's that sit with you Jimbo?
First he gets plugged with bullets

Then he gets his butt plugged
I think he's a $#&@in idiot, Jeff
I mean what kind of $$#hole
Can't find his way out of this maze?
You gotta be a real dickbuffer

To wind up here in the first place
Right you are Jimbo
Let's watch the big dick $#&@ up some more
Alrighty ain't no need to fear
If there's a way out it's gotta be near

Hey yo look a phone
You still got one good arm so it's on
Can you hear? Ahh tongue in your ear
Drop it the phones got a life of it's own
Kiss me man hey come on

Slip down the slide go faster
Bed of nails, disaster
Quit screaming yo, hurry the $#&@ up and open the door
Woods, trees you're outside
Lots of places for creeps to hide
Watch your step, AHHHH, backdraft

Caught your foot and the ankles left
Creepin off with your stump
Feel something in the rump
Holla's, yeah they gonna get you
How does it feel (*##$ get the picture
Back indoors hey at last
Look at your family behind the glass

They look weird, they're sayin something
Listen up, you've $#&@ed up, you've $#&@ed up
Oooh they're laughin and they're pointing at you
At least you know what they're sayins true
It's one last door you made it home, or
Or what? Once again it's on
Ferris wheels and bumper cars are fun

But those rides just aren't for everyone
Bought my ticket I'ma have a run
In the maze (WHOOOO!)
If I don't come back or right away (Hey)
Hey man cut that %#@!
What the $#&@ man, happy friendly %#@! man
$#&@ dat

It's supposed to be wicked in this (*##$ man
Turn that %#@! off