We skipped the light fandango
turned cartwheels 'cross the floor
I was feeling kinda seasick

but the crowd called out for more
The room was humming harder
as the ceiling flew away

When we called out for another drink
the waiter brought a tray


And so it was that later
as the miller told his tale
that her face, at first just ghostly,

turned a whiter shade of pale

She said, 'There is no reason

and the truth is plain to see.'
But I wandered through my playing cards
and would not let her be

one of sixteen vestal virgins
who were leaving for the coast
and although my eyes were open

they might have just as well've been closed
She said, 'I'm home on shore leave,'
though in truth we were at sea

so I took her by the looking glass
and forced her to agree
saying, 'You must be the mermaid

who took Neptune for a ride.'
But she smiled at me so sadly
that my anger straightway died


If music be the food of love
then laughter is its queen

and likewise if behind is in front
then dirt in truth is clean
My mouth by then like cardboard

seemed to slip straight through my head
So we crash-dived straightway quickly
and attacked the ocean bed