She was playing outside.
She took her bike for a ride.
She was feeling so happy and free.

But then a dog ran by,
And took her by surprise,
And she rode right into a tree.

And this one kid laughed,
So she kicked his $$#,
And picked a tree branch off of the ground.

It was a big old branch,
A $#&@ing big $$# branch.
Now she's ready to take the dog down!


It's not yet done!
It's not yet done!

The crusade against the dog has not been won!
It's not yet done!
It's not yet done!

The crusade against the dog has just begun!

And now the battle begins!

Her $#&@ing canine friend
Has now become her enemy.
She got back on her bike,

With her target in sight.
She's not feeling so happy and free...anymore.
She was coming in close.

That dog was good as toast!
She chased him right into the playground.
He was trying to hide,

But he got stuck in a slide.
Now she's ready to take the dog down!


It's not yet done!
It's not yet done!
The crusade against the dog has not been won!

It's not yet done!
It's not yet done!
The crusade against the dog has just begun!


(crazy awesome solo)


That big old branch,
That $#&@ing big $$# branch,
It was bigger than

A $#&@ing jouster's lance.
The way she swung that branch
Put us all in a trance.

She was ready to dance.
That $#&@ing big $$# branch!


And now it's done!
And now it's done!
That $#&@ing sick and twisted girl just had some fun!

And now it's done!
And now it's done!
The crusade against the dog has just been won!


(Lyrics written by Zach Amory/Dallas Welk.)