Vanessa: Dad?
Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Oh, hi, Vanessa!
Vanessa: Dad, what are you doing?

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Well I'll be honest I don't really understand
But I fell down this hill and I got glue on my hands
Now I got records on my fingers

Kids: Whaaaat?
Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Records on my fingers
I got records on my fingers and I just can't stop

Kids: Don't stop
Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I can't stop I got a platypus controlling me
Kids: WHAAAAT?

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I got a platypus controlling me
Now let me sum it up
It was a strange set of circumstances

Kids: Strange set of circumstances?
Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I fell down the hill, I got glue on my hands now I got records on my fingers
And I just can't stop

Kids: DON'T STOP DON'T STOP
Heinz Doofenshmirtz: Well I would if I was able
There's a platypus controlling me he's underneath the table

Kids: There's a platypus controlling him?WHAAAT?
Kid: Oh I get it, platypus is a metaphor for whatever is keeping you down
Kids: Corporations are a platypus

The government's a platypus
Your teacher is a platypus
Weird Kid: My teacher is a panda


Kids: Society's a platypus
My parents are a platypus

The media's a platypus
It's all just propaganda
We've all got platypus controlling us


Heinz Doofenshmirtz: No just me
Kids: We've all got platypus controlling us

Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I'd stop if I was able
Kids: We've all got platypus controlling us
Heinz Doofenshmirtz: I'm not speaking metaphorically

The platypus controlling me is underneath the table
Oh wait, no, he's gone!
Heyyy! There's no platypus controlling me...

There's no platypus controlling me!

(Cheers)