[1st verse:]

A great big tree grows near our house


It's been there quite some time


This tree's a slipp'ry elm tree and very hard to climb

But when my wife starts after me, up in that tree I

roost

I go up like a healthy squirrel and never need no boost


The other day a woodman came to chop the refuge down


And carve it into kindling wood, to peddle 'round the
town


I says to him, "I pray thee cease, desist, refrain and
stop


Lay down that razor, man, chop not a single chop"



[chorus:]

Woodman, woodman, spare that tree


Touch not a single bough


For years it has protected me

And I'll protect it now


Chop down an oak, a birch or pine


But not this slipp'ry elm of mine

It's the only tree that my wife can't climb


So spare that tree



[2nd verse:]


I said to him, "You see that hole

Up near that old treetop


I've got five dollars there, that's yours, if you
refrain to chop


No beast but me can climb that tree, 'cause it's too
slippery


I can't get up myself, unless my wife is after me


So get my wife and I'll call her a very naughty word

And then you'll see me give an imitation of a bird


You may not know just where to go, when my wife gets
around


But when she comes, remember this, if I'm not on the
ground"