If you're down in the mouth, don't feel at your best,
Your 'go' has got up and gone
If your mojo's not worked, for a fortnight or more,

Here's a hint as to what's going on.
If you're blown up with gas, got cramps or the runs,
Feel woozy down to your shoes,

The bad breath / the nausea, are simply because
You got the Lactose Intolerance Blues. Yeah.


It's not something cholic, it's just metabolic,
Your lactase is painfully low
You can't break down glucose or suck up your sucrose,

And your enzymes don't cut it no mo'
it's a human botrytis, like gastroenteritis,
Do parasites hold all the clues

Is campa labacta, a critical factor?
Of the Lactose Intolerance Blues. Yeah.


So take care and beware, avoid milk and dairy,
you'll no more be a pariah
The embarrassing slurps,

inelegant burps and flatulence all will expire
Your friends will adore you, no longer ignore you,
They'll all be thrilled with the news,

No more dextrose averse, you've battled the curse and beat
The Lactose Intolerance Blues. Oh Yeah.
The Lactose Intolerance Blues.