I love you like a worm loves dirt
I love you as much as amputations hurt


I love you as much as hobos smell
I love you like they love the dinner bell


I love you like midgets love limbo
I love you like STDs love a bimbo


But sometimes I'm down
It'll make you frown
We're gonna fall out of the tree

But that's how it'll go
When you're tied at the soul
To a crazy stupid guy like me


Like a mold spore in a flooded bakery
Thats how happy you make me


Like a flesh eating disease on a wrestling mat
I'm thankful for you just like that


Like an alpaca loves Peru
That's how much I love you


Like a tripping hippie loves a tree
Thats how much you mean to me


(refrain)


I want you to know I think you're the one
Like how surely we'd die without the sun


I want you to know I'm in love with you
Like how surely you'd hate a scorpion in your shoe


That's how surely I love you

I love you like a man without eyelids

Would love a staring contest

I love you like a women who couldn't have any kids

Would love a new uterus

You make me as happy as birds of prey feel

When they see a box of kittens laying out in a field

I love you like a fly love %#@!

I love you like a fat man lives to sit