(Howls) All the names and locations have been changed to protect the innocent. Which would be me.

Well, I missed class today,

Slept in a little late
Had too much fun last night
At least I got an A on my last test

Drank a case of Keystone Light

Well, that's the beer we drink here

You always get your money's worth
You put your beer goggles on
And they don't wear off

Until you're lovin' the worst

So let's change the subject

How about those grades
There's an "A" in Alcohol, a "B" in Beer
A "C" is for the night class we live all year

"D" is for Drunk, and there ain't no "E"
So "F" is for Everclear


The teacher missed class today
Slept in a little late
Had too much fun last night

At least she took us up on our last offer
To drink some warm red wine


She used to be a stripper at the Ol' Red Fox
Down on Highway Sixty-Nine
Well, let me tell you, friends, her shirt came off

By the end of the night

Well, let's change the subject

Well, how about those grades
There's an "A" in Alcohol, a "B" in Beer
A "C" is for Ms. Carter, who we love so dear

"D" is for Drunk, and there ain't no "E"
So "F" is for Everclear


Okay, here's where it gets good

So we missed class today

Slept in a little late
Had too much fun last night
Well, I woke up this mornin'

Without any warning
Ms. Carter was layin' by my side


(Rock and roll)

Well, I got a full ride all last night

She really knows her sex ed
And I learned more with my hands on
Than any book I've ever read


Well, let's change the subject
How about those grades

There's an "A" in Alcohol, a "B" in Beer
A "C" is for Ms. Carter, who we love so dear
"D" is for Drunk, and there ain't no "E"

So "F" is for Everclear

That ol' "D" is for Drunk, and there ain't no "E"

So "F" is for Everclear