Why can't you be evil like I taught you?
Why won't you misbehave the way you should?
You never used the guillotine I bought you.

You're just not bad enough, for your own good

Why can't you be mean like Aunt Loreeka,

She fed her victims 'til they almost burst
Then cooked them with a smidgin of Paprika,
She always did her best to do her worst


We're witches, and witches are wicked
How many times have you been told?

Your late grandma Alexis crushed a kingdom with her hexes,
And that's the proud tradition, I want you to uphold


Try to be as evil as your cousins,
Lucretia was the cruelest in the crowd
She cooked up evil potions by the dozens,

Be just like her and make your mama proud...

We're witches, wizards, and warlocks

We're the reason honest people purchase door locks
We've turned princes into frogs,
Peasants into pheasants,

Soldiers and sailors into swine
We've never been accused of being angels,
But as for being devils, we're divine


All our clan was evil and malicious,
And that is how I want my girls to be.

Work hard at being vicious,
And if you're real ambitious,
You might wind up an evil witch like me

A terrible, detestable, contemptable, despicable,
Evil mean old witch