[Rowlf & Kermit]
[both voiced by Jim Henson]
[sing their laments about women after Miss Piggy

just walked out on her date with Kermit]

[Rowlf:] Evenin' Rowlf. Rowlf the Dog. Sit yourself down.

[Kermit:] Kermit. Kermit the Frog.
[Rowlf:] Please to meet ya.
[Rowlf plays a rapid musical scale across the piano's keys]

[Rowlf:] I'm no Heifetz, but I get by.
[Kermit:] That was...that was very nice.
[Rowlf notices Kermit's sad mood]

[Rowlf:] Whoa, hey, broken heart, right?
[Kermit:] Does it show?
[Rowlf:] Listen, when you've been tickling the ivories as long as I have,

you've seen a broken heart for every drop of rain,
a shattered dream for every fallen star!
[Kermit:] Exactly. She just walked out on me.

[Rowlf:] Ah, typical. That's why I live alone.
[Kermit:] You do, huh?
[Rowlf:] (starts the song's intro)]

Yep. I finish work, go home, read a book,
have a couple of beers, take myself for a walk and go to bed.
[Kermit:] Nice and simple.

[Rowlf:] Stay away from women. That's my motto.
[Kermit:] But I can't.
[Rowlf:] Neither can I. That's my trouble...


[Rowlf:]
You can't live with 'em, you can't live without 'em.

There's somethin' irresistabullish about 'em.
We grin and bear it 'cause the nights are long.
I hope that somethin' better comes along.


[Kermit: (spoken):] Yeah, I know what you mean...


[Kermit:]
It's no good complainin' and pointless to holler.
[Rowlf:]

If she's a beauty she'll get under your collar.
[Kermit:]
She made a monkey out of old King Kong,

[Both:]
I hope that somethin' better comes along.


[Rowlf:]
Ah, but what could be better than a saucy Irish setter
When puppy love comes on strong?

Or a collie that's classy, a laddie needs a lassie,
A lover and wife gives you a new leash on life.


[Kermit: (spoken):] Uh, Rowlf, was that a new 'leash' on life?
[Rowlf: (spoken):] Oh yeah...sorry about that.


[Kermit:]
I don't mean to scare ya, my friend, but I betcha
Come "Father's Day", the litter bug's gonna getcha;

[Rowlf:]
The urge is righteous, but the face is wrong.
[Both:]

I hope that somethin' better comes along.

[Kermit:]

Still, it's fun when they're fetching,
And agree to see an etching
That you keep at your lily pad.

There is no solution, it's part of evolution,
[Rowlf:]
The pitter-patter of soles,

The little feet of tadpoles!

[Kermit: (spoken)] Ah, Rowlf, tadpoles don't have feet!

[Rowlf: (spoken)] Oh. Sorry about that.... 2, 3, 4!

[Kermit:]

There's no limitation to mixin' and matchin'
[Rowlf:]
Some get an itchin' for a critter they've been scratchin'.
A skunk was badgered the results were strong.
[Both:]

I hope that somethin' better,
I hope that somethin' better,
I hope that somethin' better comes along!!!
[Rowlf:] Beep bop bidder da dum dum bum bum bum!


[Rowlf: (spoken):] It's not often you see a guy
that green have the blues that bad!