Lumos!
Magic!
Evanesco!

Gilderoy Lockheart
I'm Minerva McGonagal. We teachers are good at magic you know.
I am snape.

Harry Potter. I'm Harry Potter. No I'm Harry. Harry Potter. No! You're Harry! Harry Potter. Hello Harry. Harry Potter. He's is Harry.
Clearly, fame isn't everything is it Mr. Potter?
I'm Tonks. Tonks here. Nymphadora. Don't call me that! Mad Eye Moody He always used to call me that and I was like. Psh. No you didn't!

Luna Lovegood. Luna Lovegood. I'm Hermion Granger. Hermione Granger.
I am Ron Weasley. Weasley is our King. Woah.
I am Tom Riddle.

Expeliarmus! Expeliarmus
Accio brain!
Ahh! What? Tom Riddle is Voldemort! oh No!

I need a wand!
Dumbledore. I need to speak with Dumbledore.
Death Eaters Are Bad. Bad!

Voldemort is bad.
Being bad is bad.
Voldemort is a naughty boy.

He killed me!
Wait. What? I'm Voldemort.
Oh gosh. You don't scare me. Expeliarmus. Expeliarmus! Riducto! Riducto! Ridiculous. Wingardium Leviosa!

How do I get down? You're saying it wrong. It's not leviosa. It's Leviosa!
You may know me from well, just about anywhere!
Where?

I want you to tell me all your secrets! Um. Blah Blah Blah Je ne comprise
I won't tell a soul! Haha. What? That threw me all off.
Somebody's writing terrible things about me on the walls!

Who?
Mrs. Weasley! Snape.
I'm hear to listen. Take a flick through my pages and tell me everything.

Is this real? Or has it been happening in my head?
Don't count your owls before they're delivered!
Do you like my hair?

I could be a pirate.
Actually, Weasley? Lovely lovely guy, he always defends me when people call me loony lovegood.
True story.

The girl belongs to me now. I feel I earned her, do you know how eternally boring it is to listen to the woahs of an eleven year old?
Oh my God!
You will rot in the chamber

I don't think so!
Life isn't easy for an apparition in a horcrux! I've never earned a basilisk quite as inept as it is in dispatching students as this one. How do you think I feel? And besides, I get killed in the end. That's not a good career move is it?
It does not due to dwell on dreams and forget to live.

TRY TO FLUSH ME DOWN THE TOILET WOULD YOU!
That's right!
Oh no! The @@#! has crowed! The basilisk is dead!

Do not pity the dead. Pity the living. And above all pity those who live without love.
Love.
Basilisk!! I'll come back!

Well, I'm Harry Potter, signing off for the night.
Thank you J. K. Rowling. We Love Harry Potter
Or I could have been, whoops, wrong thing.