Chorus 1
Moisturise it, exorcise it
Moisturise it

Make it go away

Verse 1

A mark appeared upon my face
So I went down to the pharmacist
She said "there's no cause for concern

It's not a mole or cyst"
But nevertheless,I didn't like it
It has to be said, I look like the BLACK FINGERNAIL

From Carry on,don't lose your head.

Bridge 1

Chinese lotions,costly potions
Never work at all
Still they charge ten pounds a bottle

Must think I'm a fool
Stuff it
STUFF IT!


Chorus


Verse 2
This mark is so unsightly
Tried so much medication

Been recommended so much stuff
To remove this indentation
But still the thing remains as large as life upon my cheek

I just want to eradicate this monsterous mystique

Bridge 2

Bottles, packets, little sachets
Fifteen pounds a throw
But none of all these remedies

will make the bastid go
Stuff it
STUFF IT!


Chorus


Middle bit
Been to the doctor's
Went to the hospital

Had it x-rayed
It's still there to-day


Moisturise it