I will build myself a home
out of the cinders and the dust
I won't surface for a year

I'll drink rainwater from my cup
and I will dream a whole new scenery
so far from what I love

to see myself in dreams just standing
staring at these doors long shut
and I will count my $#&@ing blessings

that I am even here at all

I'll take comfort in each misery

I'll cherish each stumble
each fall's a little closer to the beginning
to the start of every song

that sleeps so silent in your chest
that sleeps so silent in your soul


and I won't pray for you
I won't long for your safe return


and I won't pine for you
I won't wait to be told to run


I will suffocate all notion
of an existence without this
I will negate an understanding

between free will and realising
that anythig I had ever prayed on
that anything I had ever loved

was just the echo of some other
that I swore I'd never touch
and I will call myself an army

and I will call myself a king
and I will never love another
I won't recall a single thing


and I won't pray for you
I won't long for your safe return


and I won't pine for you
I won't wait to be told to run