Garden party held today
Invites call the debs to play
Social climbers polish ladders

Wayward sons again have fathers
Hello, Dad, hello, dad
Edgy eggs and queuing###bers

Rudely wakened from their slumbers
Time has come again for slaughter
O on the lawns by still Cam waters

A slaughter, it's a slaughter

Champagne corks are firing at the sun again

Swooping swallows chased by violins again
Straafed by Strauss they sulk in crumbling eaves again
Oh God not again


Aperitifs consumed en masse
Display their owners on the grass

Couples loiter in the cloisters
social leeches quoting Chaucer


Doctor's son a parson's daughter
W where why not and should they oughta
Please don't lie upon the grass

Unless accompanied by a fellow
May I be so bold as to perhaps suggest Othello


Punting on the Cam is jolly fun they say
Beagling on the downs, oh please do come they say
Rugger is the tops, a game for men they say


I'm punting, I'm beagling, I'm wining, reclining, I'm rucking, I'm $#&@ing
So welcome, it's a party


Angie chalks another blue
Mother smiles she did it too

Chitters chat and gossips lash
Posers pose, pressmen flash


Smiles polluted with false charm, locking on to Royal arms
Society columns now ensured, returns to mingle with the crowds
Oh what a crowd


Punting on the Cam, oh please do come they say
Beagling on the downs, oh please so come they say

Garden party held today they say
Oh please do come, oh please do come, they say.