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MACKLEMORE lyrics : "Penis Song"

Ladies and gentlemen
Introducing, the ^&@#$ song.
(Oh no he didn't)

(Honk a dick)

This is my ^&@#$ song

I wish that I had a bigger shlong
One that was quite a bit more thick and way more long
One of those !@$^o king kong dongs


Check it out
I wish my dick was bigger, I can admit it

I'm above average on inches but I want a damn double digit
If I had a big ol' @@#! what would I do?
I'd probably go to Florida and show it Katrina and screw

Get buck naked and start streaking at my school
And get arrested but at least the girls would be impressed
With my third leg and, and then I'd go to a keg and

Do a keg stand, get drunk and do the running man
With no clothes on just to show off
My dick's bigger than yours when mine is cold and soft

Haha, oh yeah I forgot that's not really the @@#! that I have
I went out and party-bagged 'em and quickly opened the package
And it fit me like Kriss Kross's old school starter jackets

Trying to convince myself like, "Size doesn't matter, "
Anyways I'd probably just put it on backwards cause I mean
I know that god made us all different and special

But %#@! did he really have to invent lopsided !@*^s?
I don't have them I just feel bad for the like you know the guys with like
Their left one hangs like lower than the right, kinda like a lazy eye like on your balls

I mean I don't know, I just feel bad

This is my ^&@#$ song

I wish that I had a bigger shlong
One that was quite a bit more thick and way more long
Fellas if ya'll feel me sing along


Yo ladies
Yeah?

Ladies!
Yeah?
Do you want a guy with an average dick?

Hell no
Then- wait you don't?
No you honkey dick

Okay that's cool, no that's fine

I promise, I'm so self conscious

That's why you never see me skinny dippin' in August
Always walkin' around with my hands in my pockets trying to pump blood into my guy Alfonso
I mean, !@#$ I don't think you girls understand

I've had a complex since that song Short Short Man
And even though girls have told me that I'm big when I watch a !@$^o I feel like a little kid
I mean, let's take Ron Jeremy

Now if a girl sees him she'll compare him to me
And every MC in hip hop has got a huge @@#!
Or at least talks about it in every song that they've got

I mean, %#@!
If I was really hung I'd make a whole album called Me and My Dick
With interludes of all the girls that I'd been with

And talk about my package and multiple !@($s
'Cause all that I see is that size does matter
We got Enzite, ^&@#$ pumps surgery to !#!^

But when it all adds up you can't really change it
I'm not a !@$^o star I just gotta face it
You know, what can I do

This song goes out to like all the like little bit above average dudes
So like all the small dudes, medium dudes but all you big dudes stop


This is my ^&@#$ song
I wish that I had a bigger shlong
One that was quite a bit more thick and way more long

Fellas if ya'll feel me sing along

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